I think I realized last night just how personally I take my work. What sparked it off was a two-minute conversation with someone I regard highly.
I was at an art gallery opening, enjoying the free food and drinks provided. Many of my friends from various NGOs were around. I ran into a casual friend who happens to have started a very successful NGO called Pepy Ride. (If you want to support their work, vote for them on the geotouism changemakers website here: http://geotourism.changemakers.com/en-us/node/16599/vote )
Anyway, we only spoke for about two minutes and she retold a friend of a friend story about how our programs were neither sustainable or effective. This was in regard to a time before I arrived, when the person running the program did not do a very good job. Nonetheless, I felt like it was a slight against me and my work thus far. It probably didn't help that the complaint mentioned two years ago is still somewhat valid today.
I could stop thinking about it all night and the following morning I wrote off a two-page response to explain the programs and defend my work. In retrospect, it was probably unnecessary. In fact, it made me feel a bit silly that I would get so upset and defensive.
My worry is that it points to a larger trouble which is that I am too attached to my programs. I have put a lot of time and energy into them, but at the end of the day I still have to realize that they are part of something bigger and separate from me. Also, I should know that the programs are not me, and that I have a life outside of work.
I know that whenever the time comes to step away from this job, the task will be quite difficult. For that reason, I need to be more conscious of the goals I am trying to achieve and the ensure that the final result will continue to live on in the next person who takes on this position.
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In contrary news, I will be taking over our bakery to try and turn our current losses into profits. Ideally, this bakery is supposed to make money for our school, not take it away.
Cons: I know little about business, I don't enjoy bossing people around
Pros: the learning experience, the smell of fresh bread
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