The longer we live the more goodbyes we seem to end up saying. Oddly enough, the practice does not make it any easier. For the most part, the goodbyes that I am obligated to say in Cambodia are saddening, but not depressing. They mark the end of the time we get to share together in a foreign country, with the lingering promise that perhaps we will meet again on the crossroads of life.
This week I had to say goodbye to one of my co-workers, and it was a much harder goodbye to watch than any other. My co-worker's name is Sambat and he was finally diagnosed with leukemia at the end of last week. The diagnosis marked the climax of four months of odd symptoms that began with a swollen face.
The past two weeks saw a flurry of events that took Sambat from one hospital to the next, as the entire hotel watched the chances for treatment gradually fall away. Ultimately, the final verdict was passed down by an American doctor on Friday, who pronounced the case untreatable. The doctor's prognosis was that Sambat would last no longer than a month. Even the next five days would be a challenge.
I am not particularly great friends with Sambat. We were always friendly, but our personalities and interests were different. We would socialized with the same people at different times. He exhibited a cheerful, happy-go-lucky attitude that I found uplifting sometimes and grating at others.
Over the past months, I watched this confident, healthy 22-year old lose a battle with his own body, robbing him of the most basic human rights. Two weeks ago, he lost the strength to walk. The past week, his severe swelling made it nearly impossible to eat or drink anything. The excruciating pain, also made sleep extremely difficult to obtain.
The total of those events led Sambat to beg those around him to end his life. It was not until the day after the American doctor's visit that Sambat finally received the pain medication suitable for his condition. Within minutes of his first injection of morphine, he slipped into a deep, relaxing sleep. Although his face was swollen, his lips and skin bulging out of their normal shape, it looked for a moment that a smile appeared on his face.
I can find no logic or reason in the death of a young man. It would be comforting to know that in the great universe of crossroads, perhaps where the real plane crosses with the imaginary plane, or where this dimension coincides with another, that friends and loved ones have the opportunity to meet again.
However, at this moment, I would be equally comforted to know that sleep is peaceful and that the last sleep we take is more tranquil, calm, and painless than any night of sleep that precedes it. To you Sambat, I wish you a very good sleep. Goodnight and see you in dreams.
